A Dismal Day at the DMV

I spent this afternoon at the DMV, and yes, it merits a blog post.  

The DMV.  Not to be confused with hell.

I'm trying to get a California driver's license, because my Tennessee driver's license was stolen in July 2011 in France.  Yes, I've gone for over a year without without a license.  Don't judge me.  It's really all Benny Boy's fault. He left my dang wallet on a counter of a churro stand.  Yes, he was buying a dang CHURRO!!!  Have you ever had a tasty churro?  Me neither.  So, my whole wallet was stolen... license, military id, credit cards, temple recommend, etc. not to mention cash I had on hand.  Although I will admit it was kind of fun paying a visit to the French police station and parlay-ing francais with the detectives.  Obviously, it didn't get me very far.

So, I made an appointment to go to the dmv today.  For the record, I have tried to take care of this earlier, but dealing with the TN DMV to get the right paperwork has been painstakingly difficult.   Last night I asked Ben, "Do you think it will be ok to take the girls to the DMV?"  He was engrossed in his book (probably about Soviet agents in the Roosevelt administration) and he replied shortly, "Yes, they'll be fine."  And of course as a very trusting wife, I accepted his affirmation in full faith.  Father knows best.  

So, the visit to the dmv started off on the wrong foot because my dang GPS took me to no man's land and I was 20 minutes late when I finally got on the right track.  When we pulled into the parking lot Emily lamented, "I don't want to go here!  I want to go to a water park!"  Don't we all, Emily.  Don't we all.  Of course, C fell asleep in the car.  I very gently lifted her out of her car seat and she continued to sleep on my shoulder.  I put the heavy diaper bag filled with books and snacks on my other shoulder and then opened Em's door and coaxed her to get out of the car.  "I want to get out on Caroline's side!" she demanded.  They're on this kick of getting out on the other side.  And I was too encumbered to go around the car and open up the door for her.  "Em, get out now."  She refused.   "One, two..."  She broke into tears and screams, "Don't act that way!!!"  she screamed while wagging her finger at me.  I love it when they hurl back at me the same lines I use on them.  Do I really sound that bad? At this point I was at my limit so I shut the door, locked it, and walked away.  Of course Em was in hysterics.  Not my best mothering moment, but she did get out when I came back for her (which wasn't long, I promise).  

The next 90 minutes were spent inside waiting in lines, filling out paperwork, and taking the written driver's test....And dealing with the girls. We made quite the spectacle... here are a few examples:

They ran around in circles and knocked into a man filling out his paper work.  He didn't appear too amused.

While sitting in the waiting area Emily read out loud Green Eggs and Ham for the whole world to hear.  I told her to read quieter.  She whispered for about two pages after which she proclaimed, "No, I will not be quiet, I will not." I just hoped everyone thought it was charming, but you know how that book sounds when read aloud... charming is not the word that comes to mind.  

The girls kept running into the photo space where I was getting my picture taken multiple times because I cannot not blink. Don't think the photographer was too amused either.  

While I was trying to focus on the test, Em announced to the world that she had to go the bathroom NOW.  So, I took the girls and the test into the bathroom... anticipating at any second for someone to barge in and bust me.  

While taking the test an employee approached a lady sitting three chairs down from me and asked her if Caroline was her daughter.  I jumped in, "No, she's mine."  "Do not let her stand on the chairs." she scolded me, for everyone to hear.

Caroline scribbling with pen all over the desk while I'm taking the test (unbeknownst to me until after the fact)

And then the real kicker, FAILING the driver's test.  Yes, I failed it.  The older gentleman behind the counter tried to be nice to me.  "It looks like you missed seven questions and you can miss no more than six.  Did you study?"  "No."  "Here's a book.  Study it and come back soon."

I left the building feeling completely down in the dumps at this point.  A lady walking nearby said cheerily, "Your kids are so adorable. They look just like you."  And that made me feel a teeny bit better.  A compliment like that goes a loooooong way.

So, the moral(s) of the story:
 *Do not under any circumstances take a 4 year old and a 2 year old to the DMV. 
* Do not, under any circumstances, give your wallet to your husband so he can buy a churro at a snack stand. 
* If you happen to be around annoying children at any given place, try to be tolerant.  '
*Lastly, if you see someone who is on the verge of tears (particularly a mother exiting the DMV), pay her a sweet compliment, it might just make her day (and keep her from strangling her children ;)