Precursor

Enjoying the beauty on the Mount of Beatitudes

And we're back!

We just finished an eight day whirlwind trip to Israel.  Yep, Ben, me, and the three kiddos went all on our own!  I know it sounds kind of crazy to attempt a trip like this one, but I guess I am kind of crazy.  That's all there is to it.  It did help that Ben had been there twice before, so I could count on him to lead the way and get us around… but still, it was kind of crazy.

During our first fifteen months here in Germany, this is the first time our family has taken a trip where we've had to fly.  There's a reason for that.  I LOATHE flying.  And trust me, we've done our fair share.  Four of the five places we've been stationed have required us to fly in order to visit family.  But I'm just worn out by the thought of it (don't worry Pat and Nancy and Mom… we're still coming to visit!).   Tons of the military families here take trips to London and Spain and Greece and all of these wonderful places I would LOVE to visit, but haven't yet because it requires getting on an airplane.  With three children.  Enough said.

Boarding a plane from Monterey to Utah

Moving to Germany.  This picture makes me twitch

So… I will eventually post lots of pics of the trip… but first I just have to write this down, to show once again that going on trips with children is rewarding in so many ways, but it definitely ain't for the weak of heart. Oh no it ain't.  I'm going to write two stories here:  the one of our flight to Israel and the one of our flight back to Germany.  I am going to let YOU decide which one sounds worse.

Scenario #1
We flew out of Basel Switzerland because the flights were about half the price.  Score!  Save moo-lah!  We're all about that, right?  But the problem is the Swiss airport is 3 hours away.  And our flight leaves at 7:20 in the morning.  And super hyper Ben says we have to be there AT LEAST two hours early.  So, it leaves us no choice but to drive down the night before and stay in a crappy airport hotel.  So since Ben was working that day, it fell upon me to pack the bags, pack the kids, load the car, clean up the house and get out the door on my own.  I'm already exhausted and haven't travelled a mile.  So we go to pick up Ben and drive on to Switzerland… which really was a beautiful drive through the Black Forest.  Can't complain too much.  Except that it takes forever with kids because you have to make a million stops including one at McDonald's which is the only fast-food restaurant you can find in Europe.  Gag me.   So the next morning we get up at 4:30, get the kids up at 5:00, and we're on our way with their ziploc baggies of Cheerios and Carnation Instant Breakfast.  Traveling is stressful... traveling WITH Ben is twice so, because he turns into a total spaz.  Sorry Ben.  But you do.  Convinced that we're already running late, he drives like a madman to the airport and totally blows by the longterm parking.  We have to circle around twice more until he is calm enough to slow down and read the signs that show where we can park.  When we realize it's out in Timbuktu, he drops us off and goes to park the car.  But I'm completely immobile because I have the three kids, the stroller, luggage, and three honkin' carseats. Did I mention we took the wheels off our luggage so that it would meet the requirements to travel free of charge?  Yeah, that was fun.  I find one of those large carts and pile everything on and make our way to the counter.  Because we're flying to Israel there's like twice as many security check points.  You have to go through security just to get to the counter to check in.  Ben comes back, all sweaty since there's no shuttle, he had to jog... but everything else goes pretty smoothly…. UNTIL I realize I left the baby's bottle in the car.  That's a critical item that cannot be left behind!  So I send Ben back.  He's ready to strangle me, but runs out the door… envision Superman.  This time he comes back looking like he just finished a marathon.  We go from one security check point to another… I swear we had to show our passports ten times before we could get on the plane.  We finally did make it to the gate just in time… they were already boarding and we were on our way.  The flight was mostly fine… really it's the getting on the plane that is the greatest challenge.  I sat by the girls and kept them happy while Ben rocked and held the baby who fought sleep most of the four hour flight.  At least it was direct.

Scenario #2
It's the same idea as scenario #1, but I have to travel with the kids WITHOUT Ben.  His conference got extended a day, so that meant I was on my own.  So, the first thing to complicate this trip home was that I ate some bad melon from a produce market the day before… leading to some serious discomfort… I won't go into detail, but I was basically living in the lady's room.  And I guess no one in Israel has this problem because Ben went to like four different stores looking for the equivalent of Pepto Bismol and came up with nothing.  You can imagine the panic that set in.  Five hour flight with the kids by myself and I'm having to deal with this?!  Ben accompanied us to the airport… this time he insisted we arrive THREE hours early, and I obliged.  He got us checked in and on our way to security… he kept commenting on how smooth everything was going.  Well, we said good-bye and I thought we were headed to our gate right around the corner.  But it turns out we were herded to a place where we had to wait for a bus to take us to a different terminal.  I have the baby strapped to me, the two girls our carry on bags and the stroller.  No elevator.  So I had to carry the stroller by myself down the stairs with the baby strapped to me… people all over the place, no one offered to help.  We finally make it to the terminal, I check with the pharmacy for Pepto Bismol… they only have laxatives. Who on earth would want a laxative when getting on a plane?!?!  We board the plane and realize that  a lady is sitting in the aisle seat where I need to sit so I can be by my girls.  There's three seats in a row.  I need all three seats.  It's our fault because Ben was supposed to be with us and we would have had two seats in one row and two in another.  But now the whole configuration has changed and there's a conflict of interest because I need to be in that seat.  I politely ask the lady if she would switch seats with me, but she says, "I'm not giving up my seat unless I get an aisle seat."  Well, the seat I was assigned was a window, so that wasn't going to happen.  She was ADAMANT.  A stewardess approached us and asked us if there was a problem.  I explained to her that I had to sit by my kids, and the lady explained she was not giving up her aisle seat.  Meanwhile there's a backlog of passengers trying to get on the plane as we're clogging up the aisle.  It was super embarrassing.  They finally booted the lady to the back of the plane.  In her defense, we were basically kicking her out of her seat, but I thought she would be a little more cooperative seeing me with my three kids.  The flight is LOOONG… five hours… James would fall asleep only to be woken up by the drink cart or the intercom announcements or what have you.  We survived.  And luckily my body decided to cut me a break I didn't have to use the bathroom (except like 10 times at the airport).   Got off the plane, headed to baggage… piled the suitcase and carseats onto the stroller, with James strapped to me and Caroline on a leash.  The problem is the stroller cannot hold all of that stuff.  The carseats keep falling off.  One older couple asked me if they could help.  But what could they do?  And remember our car out in Timbuktu with no shuttle??  So, yeah, had to push everything out there and walk forever.  Everything came tumbling off the stroller at least one other time.  People jumped up and came to help, it's just super embarrassing.  Kind of like when I'm in jr high and running to catch the bus and all my peers on the bus can see me chasing after it and I run into a big prickly bush I didn't see and the bus leaves without me… that kind of embarrassing.  True story by the way.  So, I finally make it to the car and have NEVER been so happy to see it.  Load everyone in.  Pull out my parking ticket.  Go to pay the fee and the machine won't take my credit card.  Call the intercom and we converse in French which was kind of fun and they tell me I have to come back to the airport to pay it.  Are you freakin' kidding me?  I have all three kids loaded in the car.  I am not hiking back up to the airport with them.  So, they send someone down.  The guy basically takes apart the whole machine and fiddles with it for close to 45 minutes and in the end my card still doesn't work.  I finally consent, take all my kids out of the car, and hike back to the airport to pay the stupid fee.  This whole process took an hour and a half.  We finally left the airport THREE hours after our plane landed.  We're finally on our merry way, driving through the Black Forest enjoying the splendid scenery as the sun is setting when randomly a road I need to take is blocked off.  Just like that.  Completely blocked off.  No signs.  No detours indicated.  I try to get the GPS to reconfigure but it only has me backtrack to take me another route.  I lose at least 30 minutes having to go back and find another route, not in the Black Forest, not so splendid.  All the kids are conked out.  Em wakes up randomly.  Screaming.  She wakes up James and Caroline.  All three kids are SCREAMING at the top of their lungs.  I stop and try to get them to calm down, but really, we just need to get home.  So I continue on my way with all of them screaming off and on.  James screamed at least an hour straight.  I really wondered if we would make it home alive.  I sang primary songs.  It calmed Emily and Caroline, but not James.  I have NEVER been so happy to be home.  Let me tell you.  I think I speak for the children when I say they felt the same.  The girls ran into their room and started playing with their toys even though it was 10:30 at night. James crawled around happy as can be.  I swear I will NEVER do anything like that again.

And yes, scenario #2 was DEFINITEY the worst.

This, my friends, is why I never fly unless I have to.