I'm Back!

I'm back.  Hopefully I'll be able to catch up on some of our 2015 happenings.  At times I think I should up and quit this blog, it's hard to carve out the time it requires to post, and only the true diehards check it (that'd be you, Pat and Nancy).  But, I do love having a visual record of the adventures of my ever-growing family.  It's nice to have our photos organized and fun to go back and show the kids… they really get a kick out of it.

November was a discouraging month for me. I guess it's part of life… we have highs and lows.  November was a low.  It started with a heartbreaking death in my extended family, then turmoil and controversy in our church regarding a policy change, then the terrorist attacks in Paris, then discovering I'm pregnant with my fourth (a tad bit overwhelming) and dealing with first trimester fatigue and nausea and emotional imbalances, and then facing the prospect of Thanksgiving with no family… like I'm going to roast a turkey for my little ingrates… yeah right! So, it just kind of made for a blue month.

But then the Christmas decorations and lights and festivities and madness cheered me a bit, even though I was still not feeling well… December felt like a marathon… and now that the holidays and my first trimester are over… things are looking up.

So the last week in October I flew to Utah for my cousin Leanne's husband's funeral.  Leanne is my first cousin and is my age… we were always close growing up… when our family would make the semiannual trek to California to see our countless cousins, my mom would ship me off to Leanne's house for days on end.  And when she came to Price we always had a grand time.  We exchanged letters gabbing about our latest crushes, and I even went with her family on a motorhome trip to Alberta to visit the land of my forefathers.  When we went to college we kind of chose different paths… she married young and started a family… and I continued with my education, went on a mission, and married six years later.  But we always stayed close.

Anyway, now she has seven children ages 13 to 5 months.  The tragedy came when her husband Spencer, whom everyone loved… suddenly and very unexpectedly passed away in an accident up in the canyon at the young age of 39.  When my mom called to tell me I was speechless… in complete shock.  This family was already going through some pretty serious trials, and I just couldn't fathom that life could be that much more cruel.  I knew I had to go to the funeral in Utah, even though it wasn't convenient or easy, but Heavenly Father paved the way for me to be there… SATO was able to get me a flight the day before I was to leave at a rock bottom price… I knew it was meant to be.  I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her how very sorry I was.

One of the few pictures I took on my short trip.  

Well, I was able to do that… but it didn't end there.  At the end of a very moving funeral, in which Leanne got up and spoke and was an absolute pillar of faith and strength, I talked to her sisters and asked how everyone was holding up and if there was anything I could do since I had one more day in Utah.  They asked if I would be willing to spend the night with her, since she didn't want to be alone, and they wanted to use whatever help they had while they had it.  It felt good being of some service, but it was also a very daunting and raw experience to be in her home, sharing her bed, and listening to all she was willing to share with me late into the night.  It felt good to help tidy her home, fold some laundry, and play with her young children so she could rest, but it was also raw and sad and overwhelming to get a small glimpse into how the children are coping with the loss of their daddy.  I held the little babe in my arms and fed her a bottle as she drifted off to sleep.  So sweet.  Anyway, I basically went to the airport straight from her home and had tried to be strong for so long… once I got on the plane I just lost it… it was a very emotionally draining trip and my heart aches for my cousin every day.  But she really is an amazing gal and she will survive this… she is unbelievably strong with unshakable faith.  Between her ward family and her immediate and extended family, she has an army of supporters who will do anything for her and her kids.  It was amazing to see them mobilized to full capacity in the short 48 hours I was there.    

And now it is past midnight and I didn't even get to anything else… I only meant to write a small paragraph about this, but oh well.  Next time I'll fill you in on our trip to Berlin!  That was interesting.  Until then, Tschuss!