I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home

Benny Boy/Daddy has been gone for the past 10 days.  

Is it a coincidence that I didn't blog in that timeframe?  

No, it is not.  

I don't do well as a single parent.  Granted, it was only ten days.  I have friends and family who have husbands deployed for months at a time.  I have friends and family who really are single parents.  Any time Ben leaves for more than 24 hours, my admiration for these people grows tenfold.  

Ben had a really exciting adventure during his leave of absence. 

The night before he left he showed me his itinerary.  One of the "events" scheduled  was taking a swim in the Dead Sea.  

 He actually came home with a suntan, how fair is that? 

Ben got home just in time to walk Emily and our neighbor Ellie home from kindergarten

`

However, he did miss Emily's AWESOME performance as a pilgrim in her theatrical debut

 The girls were excited to watch him open up Nana's belated birthday presents

Thanks Nana!

And James enjoyed the delectable taste of the card

So glad he's back just in time for Thanksgiving. 
And now I can hear him singing princess songs with the girls as he puts them to bed.  
Thank heaven for dads!

 Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Baba

 Today marks four years since my dad's passing.  

 Naturally my thoughts turn to him this time of year.

My little sister recently lamented how unfair it is that Dad got to be a grandpa or "baba" to the children of the four oldest siblings (Rebekah, Phil, Trav, and myself) while he wasn't around to meet the future children of the four youngest siblings (Reed, Dennis, Bonnie, and Mary). 

This got me thinking about the sweet but short-lived memories I have of him and Emily.  Emily was just 18 months when he passed away, and of course he was gone before Caroline and James were on the scene.  So, Bonnie don't feel too bad.  We all got short changed… we're all missing out on Dad being a grandfather to our kiddos.  

So today I thought I would just share my favorite memories of him and little Emily. They are unique and quite special.   And the entry is a little long.  So, no offense taken if you don't read all of it.  It's mostly for posterity anyway.

 It all started when Ben deployed to Afghanistan, leaving me 8 months pregnant and alone at Ft. Campbell, Tennessee.  The plan was for my mother to fly out for the birth.  Well, the Saturday morning before her arrival I got a call from Dad informing me that Mom had been in a bike accident in Moab and had broken her nose and her jaw, and had several cuts to her face and head.  She would NOT be making it our for the birth.  He told me this news in his typical dry, matter-of-a-fact way, whereas I was just trying to hold it together on the other end of the line.  I was sad for my mom and extremely disappointed she wouldn't be there. And I was scared. He just said, "Don't worry.  We'll figure out something.  Maybe Beck can come out."  And she did!

 Emily was a COLICKY newborn.  It wasn't in the original plans, but because I was having such a hard time with her, Mom and Dad convinced me to come stay with them for the summer while Ben was gone.  It didn't take much convincing.  And it turned out to be a huge blessing.   And now the sweet memories from that summer with her and my parents are priceless.  It was one of those cases of Heavenly Father consecrating my afflictions for my gain.

1.  I remember distinctly that flight to Utah when Emily was just 6 weeks old.  She slept most of the flight, but once we landed it was game on.  She screamed her little lungs out as we deboarded the plane, and kept wailing as I made the way to baggage claim.  Her cry echoed throughout the airport and I was mortified as people kept looking our way.  But then I spotted Dad, waiting for me at baggage claim.  He had a huge smile on his face.  He scooped her up, and laid her up against his chest.  She INSTANTLY stopped crying.  It was uncanny.  Of course my dad got all misty eyed, it's probably the most tender memory I have of the two of them together.

2.  She screamed the whole two hours home in the car seat.  I remember trying to have a conversation with Dad, but it was impossible.  Dad was patient and said not to worry, it didn't bother him.  He pulled over in the canyon so I could nurse her.

3.  Dad loved to come home after work and see Emily.  His initial magic touch didn't seem to have any longevity because she cried no matter who was holding her.  But he loved to tell us how he told his patients all about Emily.  He said she looked like an otter.  Really, Dad?  How nice.  But he also mentioned she looked like a perfect doll, which was true.  He said it seemed she held the weight of the world on her shoulders, because she always had the most serious look on her face.

What do you think?  Does she look like an otter?

I would say more like a doll

4.  Dad had some interesting techniques on how to calm Emily's colicky ways.  He tried to get me to give her Lortab.  You know, being a doctor he just had a spare bottle of Lortab handy in the outside refrigerator, no big deal.  Being a new cautious mother I was like, "Uh, I don't think so."  But he kept insisting, just a few drops and she'll be sure to sleep better.  And the one time I gave it to her, she did!  He was very proud of that.

5.  We went to the cabin that summer and he used to always swear that everyone sleeps better at the cabin.   He predicted Emily would sleep straight through, no problems.  And she did!  Again, he was very proud of that.  

Back when I used to be skinny after having kids

6.  Another technique he used to help calm her was pushing her up the road to the canal for a midnight stroll (along the same road Dad and I had gone on countless walks, and incidentally, the same road where he died).  He thought the cool summer night air and the moonlight had a calming affect on her.  I remember one night I got out of the shower and found Dad sitting at the table studying.  I confusedly asked, "Where's Emily?!"  In his nonchalant way he answered, "She's outside."  I threw the door open and found her fast asleep in her stroller.  I couldn't believe my dad would leave her outside in the dark by herself.  Must have been his easy going Emery County ways.  

7.  One day the three of us went for a walk up that same road.  I remember Dad asking, "Do you think I'll be alive to meet Emily's children?"  Dad was always thinking ahead.  I thought it was such a sweet thought. "I don't know!"  I responded.  "I hope so!"

8.  One afternoon when Dad came home from work, he suggested we go take some pictures with the baby in the garden.  That's not really like my dad to suggest a spontaneous photo shoot, but now I consider the pictures priceless.  He sure was proud of his garden!

9.  When I got that phone call from Ben saying there was a chance he might come home early from his 15 month deployment to be the rear detachment commander, my parents were ecstatic for me.  I explained to Dad that Ben was happy, but had mixed emotions as he felt guilty leaving the men in his battery behind.  Dad kept reassuring me that it was a huge blessing.  Just a huge blessing.  I think he recognized God's hand in it.  So after 11 weeks I went back to TN to be reunited with Ben.  It was such a blessing for Emily to be there that summer and my parents to be able to bond with her, especially my dad since he would be gone the next year.  

 Here are pics from the following year, the same year we lost him:

We came out from Virginia for my brother's wedding

Bear Lake during our summer trip to Utah, just three months before his passing

Mom and Dad came out to D.C. in October, just one month  before his passing

The stone wall at Fredericksburg, the last day of his visit.  Really, the last time we spent with him

And sadly the next time we saw him… 

I don't mean for these pictures to be overly sad.  But I have to say, the morning I found out about my father's death, I was sitting on the edge of the bed on the phone with my mom when she broke the news to me. I was wailing and sobbing and so upset.  Em came running in from the other room.  She was confused as to why I was crying my eyes out.  She crawled up in my lap and let me embrace her and hold her close.  She truly was a comfort at that time.  

Anyway, I don't want this post to be sad… I'm mostly just grateful for the wonderful father and grandfather Dad was.  And I don't want to diminish the fact that my children have WONDERFUL living grandparents.  Mom, and Pat and Nancy are all wonderful with the kids and have very special bonds with them.   For that I am extremely grateful, and for the fact that families are eternal.  

And now I have a great bedtime story to read to Emily tonight.  Yay!

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble

As promised, here's my other pinterest Thanksgiving activity I completed with the girls…  and Ben since he had the day off.  If you can't tell, they're turkeys!!

It's really easy…

1. You take a double stuffed Oreo, stick candy corns in the cream to make the feathers.  

2. Take a miniature Reese's peanut butter cup to use as the head.  Attach it to the Oreo using Nutella as the glue.  

3. Use the Nutella to stick the eyes and nose on.  The eyes are Nerds, the nose is a stub of a candy corn.

4.  Cut a candy orange slice to make the wattle.  I couldn't find any so bought peach rings thinking they would work.  They didn't.  

And voila!  You've got a turkey.  Fun to make, but not exactly fun to eat in my opinion.   

We had company over that night.  For dessert I put out Ben's chocolate chip cookies and our turkey cookies.  This was a true test.  Well, almost everyone opted for the chocolate chip cookies.  Even the little kids.  I mean, the turkeys are cute and fun, but do you really want to EAT one of those?  The only one who really appreciated the unique taste was Ben.  After our company left he was like, "You know what tasted really good tonight?  Those turkeys!  The key is to eat the Nerds with the peanut butter cup."  I know, gross, but to each his own, I guess. 

Stop the Presses… I'm Crafting!!

Growing up sandwiched in between four brothers, I wasn't much into the girly girl scene.  I didn't do ballet or dance nor did I show much interest on the domestic front.  And it wasn't for a lack of trying on my mother's part… I remember her sitting me down at a sewing machine on more than one occasion trying to show me how to use it.  Yawn.  Puh-lease.  At summer Girl's Camp I hated doing the customary craft.  I remember sitting at a table painting a wooden doll thinking how unfair it was we didn't get to do the cool stuff the boy scouts go to do… overnight hikes, river rafting, building canoes. 

So, as I've become a mother and have seen all the talents that other women around me seem to have… sewing, crocheting, quilting, canning, gourmet cooking, etc. I can't help but feel a little left in the dust.  Doesn't anyone want to get a women's basketball team together?  Or how about ultimate frisbee?  That sounds a lot more fun than knitting!!  But, lately I've been biting the bullet, mostly for my girls' sakes.  The crafty gene must skip a generation because Em is showing strong signs of being the next Martha Stewart (minus the criminal aspect).  

So, as I said, I bit the bullet and joined pinterest (shudder).  So far, I have two pins… wahoo!  both of which I completed with my girls last week.  It ended up being a lot of fun.   But only because I was doing it with them, I would never pursue this stuff on my own.  

First I'll feature our "thankful tree."  We enjoyed making it so much I think it'll become an annual tradition.  What I loved about this project was we didn't have to go to the store to buy anything... everything we needed was on hand.  

First we got brown paper bags and painted them with water colors… reds, yellows, greens

Then I crumpled them up and let them dry

Then I gathered some twigs from outside and put them in a vase and trimmed them down to resemble a leafless tree

Next we cut the painted paper bags into strips, folded them length wise and cut out a shape of half a football.  These were our leaves.

Then I hole punched them, put them in a bowl, and now every night at dinner we each take a moment to write something on a leaf that we are thankful for and then put it on the tree. For an added challenge, on the backside we write down a "hand of God" or "tender mercy" entry that happened that day.  So, C's first leaf on the left says "Grandma and Grandpa."  Emily's leaf says, "a rainbow."

This is what our tree looks like after three days of hanging our thankful leaves.  I'll post a pic of what it looks like by Thanksgiving!    Should be awesome. 

 I love that Thanksgiving is a holiday where you don't GET anything… you just sit back and reflect on all that God has given you. It makes for less stress and more happiness in my opinion. 

 In my next post I'll show you the awesome Thanksgiving treat we made (no, it was not sugar cookies, thank goodness!)

Student of the Month? Really? I'm Honored

Last week I got a note in Emily's folder that said she had been selected to be THE STUDENT OF THE MONTH.  "Wow!"  I thought, "Well, obviously she'd be chosen as the student of the month.  She's definitely the smartest in the class.  And the cutest, no doubt.  And she's probably the nicest and sweetest and everything a teacher dreams of in a child.  And it's only October.  Of course they'd be honoring her this early in the year."  The note indicated that there would be an AWARDS CEREMONY and that we the parents were invited.  I nonchalantly marked it on my calendar, no big deal, but inside I was swelling with pride.

So, this morning I got James and Caroline and myself all ready and trudged on over to the school.  I sat in the front row at the cafeteria, anticipating what kind of speech would be given to honor the STUDENT OF THE MONTH…. what kind of accolades would be showered upon her?  As I sat pondering this I noticed more and more people filing into the cafeteria.  Like a lot of parents and students.  Soon I spotted another parent of a child from Emily's class.  My face fell. Why would she be here?  Surely her child isn't student of the month as well?  There can only be one, right?  Then another child from her class and another until I saw that Emily was one of five students from her class at the awards ceremony, and there's only like 15 in her class.  Oh man.  Then and there I knew Em wasn't considered as special as I originally thought.

So, the nice lady got up to conduct the ceremony and she said that the students of the month were selected based on October's character trait: TRUSTWORTHINESS. These students could be relied upon to get their work done and do what's right.  Then she read a huge long list of names as student after student went up on the stage to get the little paper award and a picture taken with the principal.  Em was towards the end since they were reading the kids in alphabetical order.  Not a word was said about her… just a polite applause from the audience as she marched across the stage. And it turned out one other student from her class was also selected to be the student of the month.  I don't mean to get too technical, but shouldn't they be A student of the month and not THE student of the month?….which I'm calculating in my head… 9 months of school, 15 kids, I'm sure EVERYONE in the class will be student of the month at some point during the year.

Then they had awards for other kids where they read off name after name.  The other three kids in Emily's class got an award for "participating in class."  Ok, that's even worse than getting a trustworthiness award. What the h is it even supposed to mean?  Like what kindergartener doesn't participate in class?   I would be kind of ticked if I were a parent who got work off (I saw several dads in uniform) to come see my child get an award for participating in class.

 So what say ye?  Do I need a major attitude adjustment?  Does giving an award to multiple children  diminish the accomplishments of another or not at all?   Should I just be happy for Emily and let the rest be?  I promise I'm not majorly annoyed, just slightly.  And I guarantee that I was not the only disappointed parent in that cafeteria as we all looked around at each other and realized that our child was just one in a sea of many receiving the same awards.

Homeschooling makes more and more sense to me every day.

The Week in Review

So, there were several times this week when I wanted to sit down and blog about this and that, but sometimes I just can't get to it.  

I've never been as busy as I am now that I have the three little ones, which I guess would make sense.  But I figured once Em started kindergarten, things would get easier, and they're not!!  

First, I have to get up every morning in the dark to get her up and off.  I know this is the norm for most people around the world, but I guess I've just been spoiled by our slow paced, taking-it-easy mornings.  Or maybe it's because I have already gotten up once in the night to feed J so it aint fun to hear that alarm go off.  So, off she goes at 7:30 with our neighbors and then at 2:00 every day I have to go pick her up… which usually means I have to wake J up from his nap (grrr…. waking up a baby is never a good thing!) and get C out the door so we can all make the 15 minute walk to the school.  Which really, I'm the only one walking.  I've got J in the ergo and I'm pushing C on her tricycle.  It's quite the sightly contraption.  

And then there's the after school routine we're trying to nail down… homework… um, what's the deal with homework in kindergarten?  I swear I didn't have homework until like the 5th grade.  Maybe my memory is spotty, who knows.  And now Em is starting piano, taught by... guess who???  Meeee…  And she's taking German language on Friday and C is taking gymnastics on Thursdays.  Then it's time to make dinner.  Ben doesn't get home until almost 7, we eat (and go to battle with Caroline), do dishes, the bedtime routine, and then I fall down on the couch in a comatose state and try to spend some quality time with Benny Boy which usually entails watching a masterpiece mystery or classic and me falling asleep 15 minutes into it, if that.  

So, that's my excuse for not blogging every chance I'd like to.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life.  I feel so blessed to be a mom of three healthy, beautiful children.  Sometimes I just get tired.  

Which reminds me… I came across this list on my friend's fb page.  It hit a little too close to home. 

24 Clear Signs you're a Mom

(I highlighted the ones that most apply to me… which ones apply to you?)

1. Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.

2. You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.

3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.

4. A night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

5. A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit.

6. You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.

7. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

8. You can experience heaven and hell at the same time.

9. You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego.

10. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your SO snores next to you.

11. You'd rather have a 103 degree fever than watch one of your kids suffer with it.

12. You'd rather go to sleep than have sex.

13. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa.

14. Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine.  (TMI??)

15. You use baby wipes to clean up random spills and the dash of your car.

16. You lock yourself in the bathroom just to get a break.

17. You love Moms' Night Out and Date Night with the Hubs.

18. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you're sick of sharing.

19. You've been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you forgot to dry it.

20. You realize you've been watching Nick Jr. alone, even though your kids have been in bed for over 30 minutes.

21. You can cook dinner, breastfeed, talk on the phone and yell at the kids, all without breaking stride or missing any of the TV show you are watching.

22. You get more excited about the Mini Boden Catalogue than J Crew's.

23. You decide to stick with your car for the next decade because a) you can't afford to switch and b) you haven't found a car wash that knows how to get all the milk stains and glitter removed.

24. By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.

So, now this post has gotten kind of long because I went off on a huge tangent and haven't even blogged about what I originally intended.  I should save the rest of the material for another day, but as you now know, I don't have much time for another day, so it's now or never.  You'll have to deal.

Last week...

James turned 4 months.  My brother commented he looks like a bald 60 year old man in this photo.  I personally think he looks like Bruce Willis.  Take your pick.

Ben turned 35….  errr… not exactly 35, but it just so happens a 3 and a 5 were the candles we had on hand.  

Em did a fabulous job of putting the candles on the cake

The girls participated in a lantern walk… another German tradition.  I really love that they have so many traditions.  Every November to celebrate All Saints Day, the kids do lantern walks at night, and sing this awesome German song as they go caroling from house to house.  Em's German teacher organized one here on RB.  We caroled to lots of friends and neighbors, but no one threw candy out to us like they were supposed to!!

 I attended Super Saturday (quickly becoming my favorite Saturday of the year) where I learned to crochet!!  Yep, it took me TWO HOURS  to complete that bad boy.  It was supposed to be an ear warmer for Em.  It turned out to be a rat tail.  I was definitely the most remedial of all the students.  I think the instructor, my dear friend from the ward, was ready to strangle me.  So, in case any one out there deals with feelings of inadequacy, I'm glad I'm here to make you feel better.

Two hours of my life I'll never get back

And this disturbing new fetish…. C is eerily obsessed with The Cat in the Hat.  Every night before she goes to bed she looks at it in her bed.  She spends long periods of time staring at the pictures.   I think she's intrigued by all the mischievousness.

And that's a wrap!!  Until next time...